


Proof of Man's Descent

by esteefee



Category: Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Aliens Made Them Do It, Fight that is, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2016-01-18
Packaged: 2018-05-14 16:19:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5749915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/esteefee/pseuds/esteefee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><a href="http://sharlcy.tumblr.com">Sharky</a> posits: who would win in a fight: classic sg-1 or Sheppard's team? </p><p>Or: the one where Jack plays yard monitor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Proof of Man's Descent

"Fer crying out loud–Teal'c, can you give me a hand here?" Jack hollered as he kept Sheppard from caving his head in with a brick. Jack wasn't sure if it was alien pollen spores or the weird ruins the Atlantis team had been investigating when they missed their check-in that was making Sheppard foam at the mouth like Old Yeller. Jack was betting on spores. 

"I cannot, O'Neill. I require both hands at the moment," Teal'c said, sounding a little out of breath. Kind of unusual for the big guy. Jack risked a glance over his shoulder and saw—terrific—the tall guy with the leather pants, Ronon Dex, trying his best to tear Teal'c's arm off.

"Little help! Little help!" Daniel zipped into Jack's line of sight with McKay on his heels, just in time for Jack to catch a knee to his guts. He kept his grip on Sheppard's arm as he dropped, though, and then rolled to pin him down. 

This was getting out of hand fast. Jack hit his comm and relayed through the gate, "Command, we've got a bit of a situation here. Gonna need some back up. And some corps—" Jack let out a wheeze when Sheppard punched him in the chest. "Oh, come _on_!" Jack said, and then Sheppard flipped him over his head.

Things got a little bit fuzzy then, but he still had a grip on Sheppard's wrist, so he used it as an anchor to haul himself up before Sheppard disengaged. He noticed in passing that Ms. Emmagan had found herself some tree branches to swing around and Sam was fending her off as best she could with her P90. 

Daniel had McKay face down in the turf and was sitting on him. McKay was still kicking, though.

Jack faced Sheppard off warily. Some crashing sounds were coming from the bushes at his left, and for all he knew, Dex was about to come tearing out of there at any moment to tip the balance. Jack had to end this soon. 

"Just chill, Sheppard," Jack said, staring into Sheppard's dilated pupils.

Sheppard growled.

Yeah, not going to happen. Sheppard rushed him and, _oof_. The guy was a lot heavier than he looked. Jack's knee twinged and he almost went down. Sheppard knocked him a good one on the chin and Jack saw stars for a second.

"Sir," Carter called out, her voice a little thin. "It occurs to me, if the device the team was investigating is controlled by the Ancient gene, you might be able to deactivate it by going over there and—" Carter let out a surprised sound and then was silent.

That was seriously not good. Jack made a tricky move he'd learned in grade school and dropped Sheppard, giving himself the freedom to turn and look. Carter was down but rolling a little; Emmagan was heading right for Daniel.

Jack turned and ran.

The ruins were a couple of hundred feet away, and Jack could hear Sheppard, that jackrabbit, coming up behind him way too fast. Way too fast. Jack's knee hated this but he gave it a little extra gas, all the while thinking up the dire punishments he was going to rain on Sheppard's head. Jack was thinking—not KP, KP was too good for the likes of him, no—there was a particularly grimy drain for his cabin's sump pump that had been gunked up for a heck of a long time, and he knew just the fellow destined to snake it this coming weekend.

Jack felt a sudden urge to zig, and Sheppard's hand flailed right by his right ear. And then Jack was stumbling, tripping, rolling over the ledge and down the hill into the ruins. 

There were cages to his left, open but with gates of filigreed, Ancient-y metal, and on the other side of the square, a gunmetal gray console that was lit up.

And between him and the console stood Sheppard, his head tilted and a dopey expression on his long face. Jack understood—he could hear the same buzz in his head. 

He rose slowly, dusting himself off. His bones ached. He took a step forward, and Sheppard ducked his head, rumbling a warning. 

Well, screw that. Daniel didn't stand a chance against Emmagan and her swirly sticks. Not if he knew she was under the influence. Daniel was a damned pacifist for Pete's sake.

"I'm just going over there," Jack said, pointing. "And you better not get in my way, Sheppard."

But the closer Jack stepped, the more the weird buzz filled his head, and he got it, now—why Sheppard wasn't attacking him. It felt like he was moving through molasses. When he got close, though, Sheppard lifted his hand.

Jack raised his arm to block, but Sheppard just grabbed his wrist. And suddenly the buzz was easier to deal with. Jack pulled him toward the console, and together they pushed their way over to it. Jack rested his hand on top of it and said, "Carter said to think 'off.'"

With that, the buzzing sound cut out, and Sheppard dropped to the ground.

"Awesome," Jack said.

:::

Jack swapped out the melted ice pack for a fresh one and glared at Sheppard, who was straddling the neighboring gurney and giving him an apologetic look.

"You're just lucky I didn't tear my ACL again," Jack said.

"I said I'm sorry," Sheppard said. "McKay thinks it was some sort of aggression experiment and we were targeted as the subjects when it got powered on."

"No kidding."

"I feel I was forced to engage in very poor behavior," Emmagan said, frowning at Sheppard. "I knocked out Colonel Carter, who is a dear friend, and I would have hurt Dr. Jackson if he weren't such a good runner."

"Uh, thanks," Daniel said.

"I'm sorry," Sheppard said. "I'm really, really—"

"I have bruises all over my ass," McKay said, pointing at Sheppard. "And it's your fault!"

"But you told me to—"

"Did I tell you to whammy us into Neanderthals?"

"Okay! Fine! I'm sorry! I'm sorry for whammying everyone! Sheesh."

Dex shrugged. "I had a good time."

Teal'c looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "Indeed. It was invigorating." 

Jack clapped his hands together. "Well, I guess we've all learned our lessons, huh? No more turning on the mind-control device! And you…" He pointed at Sheppard. "Get a haircut. I never could have thrown you down without that nest to grab onto."

Sheppard rubbed the top of his head and grinned.

 

………………………  
January 17, 2016  
San Francisco, CA

**Author's Note:**

> The quote is from _[Dances With Darwin](http://www.amazon.com/gp/search?index=books&linkCode=qs&keywords=9780754652434)_ , "[Darwin's] familiarity with medical research again provides him with a middle-ground, further proof of man's descent from animals."


End file.
